I watched Goblin, the K drama at the end of 2016 when it started its broadcast. That is also the time when I decided that
‘THAT’S IT! I’ve had it with my MEDS! I’ve been on MEDS since 2000 when I first got diagnosed with psychosis. That has been like 17 years! I can stop taking the meds that keep me sleeping all the time! Like I sleep 18 hours a day and I don’t feel LIKE SLEEPING THAT MUCH ANY MORE! I HAVE TO STOP THE MEDS! I HAVE TO MAKE IT AS A WRITER AND PUT IN LIKE 20 hours of WORK A DAY! THEN I CAN MAKE IT! THEN I CAN LIVE AS A WRITER AND MAKE MY DREAM COME TRUE! I WILL STOP THE MEDS! THAT WILL GIVE ME TIME TO WRITE MY HEART OUT!”
I was in London at the end of 2016 during our annual family trip when I told them that I have decided to stop the meds. They were concerned. HECK! I was concerned myself. But I have to do what I have to do. To sleep less and do work. Then my dream can come true.
I stopped for a week. Everything was okay. I started watching Jimmy Fallon as it is now airing THE SAME DAY AS THE US on Astro the E! Channel. That’s what a lot of shows are now doing. THE SAME DAY AS THE US. I started getting messages again. Like the guests or Sir Jimmy himself were talking about me. It will not hurt me and I know reality. They aren’t talking about me. Who am I? Who am I important enough that Sir Jimmy and his guests start talking about me? Then I watch the OSCARS and boy oh boy I got super messages. At one point during the live show, they said they are going to get a bunch of people in for a surprise. I was expecting a camera crew to show up at my doorstep. Yeah right!!! I was sick and it was getting worse. A month passes by and it is February 2017, almost every day, I get messages. Never mind I tell myself. They are just messages. But doesn’t matter. They are all just hallucinations. I have psychosis. I stopped my meds. I get it. I won’t start taking my meds because I have to work and not sleep. I managed to cut my sleep from 12 hours to about 4-6 hours. That was good enough for me. But nevertheless… things were just starting. I mean I couldn’t even imagine what was about to happen next.
To be continued…