It has been quite a while ago that I last posted. I managed to finish up semester 4 with a A- and a B+. I was one mark away from getting an A and I tried to persuade my lecturer to grant me that 1 mark. But he didn’t even reply or even entertain me. So I entertained myself by saying.. “Nice try sir! Nice try!”
I went to Ipoh over the weekend to mend a problem I created 2 weeks ago. I updated my status to In a Relationship with GNet Tan. It was too soon to even declare myself in a relationship. I only found out after that we were not meant to be together. So that Ipoh trip was to try and fix things between us. Turns out, we weren’t in a relationship in the first place. We never even held hands which is the basics of a relationship. So I guess everything turned out for the best. We laughed and talked all night as always and the best thing of all is that we are still friends.
I saw BFF Ricky and met his wife and kids too. I had to tell him the story of Gnet and I. It’s always great to be around people that have been with you for tens of years, yet feel that nothing has really changed in terms of our relationship. BFF got married and got a kid. But we still can connect as always. That is happiness.
This is a new chapter of my life because I have finally shed that illusion that something is out there that I cannot explain. The spy cameras, the Jimmy Fallon and David Letterman messages, messages from BoA and all sorts of messages I get from CNN and people on the media in general I call the TV people have all been made up in my head. It is scary sometimes that so many things you thought was real is in fact just a fantasy.
All my questions were answered at the Catholic Dating Hub retreat in Penang 2 weeks ago. I figured that if BoA turns up for the retreat all my dreams would have come true.
But I also did think about the possibility that she doesn’t turn up. Then everything that I have ever thought and knew was just a fantasy. BoA is a defense mechanism that tries to prevent me from being depressed as a single lonely writer.
When the Catholic Dating Hub happened, I finally could say that BoA IS a defence mechanism and nothing more.
It is now 0 AB not AD. AB (After BoA)